I myself am a WAW, I was not unfaithful, nor was my XH, but I will tell you that a few events and moments passed where I, as the WAW has moments of gift-giving cluelessness and gift-accepting anxiety. I was overly worried about what my H was going to get me. I was unsure how I felt about him, and was moving very quickly in the direction away from him. I wanted to ignore the event or holiday for I feared he might give me something extremely meaningful in an attempt to right the situation. I worried that he could come up with the sentimental idea "NOW", when he was about to lose everything, but he couldn't even put an ounce of that effort into our M the entire time. What I prayed and hoped for was that he'd get me a card that would make me laugh, as a symbol of no pressure of reconciliation of the M...that he was more interested in reconnecting with me first. To me that would have been a symbol that he moved past his extreme wants and was able to join me in the quest for happiness...whatever that may be. It would have shown his interest in ME, but not a pressing interest in US. If that makes sense. Needless to say my XH did not do those things...he ignored the holiday because he just couldn't make a choice...he "didn't know what I wanted or what he was supposed to do." Which by the way, hurt me more than anything in the world. Now this is just a one woman focus group.
My vote...for a card and something else meaningful...something that doesn't require you to "express" verbal sentiment, but something that can be a quiet sentiment between you two...and be happy and excited when she opens it. Just my 2 cents.
Nickel
"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy."
