Another quick thought. Buy some gifts for yourself. Wrap them and put them under the tree.
1. You deserve it.
2. The kids will see that Santa didn't forget either of you.
3. It will take some pressure off of your wife - remember she too is dealing with difficult feelings and emotions as well. Taking that pressure off of her may be the best gift you could give her.
Primarily you're doing this for your kids and yourself. Not to score points with your W. Don't have any expectations. She may not even recognize what you've done. So what!
