I don't know about the gift...women tend to feel very guilty...a nice gift would perhaps depending on your W make her feel EVEN more guilty and thus only push her further away to wallow in the guilt...what would you do for a good friend's bday? I apologize that I don't know too much about your sitch, but do you think she would feel comfortable having an innocent lunch or dinner or do you think she would feel threatened that the subject of the R would come up?
But again, you know her best and you would know how she would feel. In my sitch, no gifts, no cards, nada...because I had always been the giving one in the R, now he has to do without it. That was my 180.
