Oh dear... I can relate to much of your post... I (and others) will be able to relate to having had a good or better sex life in the past and now being mystified at how things that were once so simple are now a minefield.

I'm posting to welcome you and to say that the board tends to be kind of slow on the weekends (I think a lot of people participate from work).

How long have you been married? Any children? Was it better in the beginning? If it changed, when? Would he be willing to go to any couples' therapy?

There appear to be no simple solutions to these problems-- not what you want to hear, I know. Stick around and welcome aboard this leaky boat.