Hanging on/The Long Haul

[WCW]

Oh Opti, you just don't what a relief this is for me. Not only will the payment stop going up each month, it means there will be a few extra $100's each month. Now if I can get a few of these other things I am working on to come in line....

Not only is it just a money matter, I feel so good because I am doing something, I am getting something accomplished, I am taking a direction, it is so positive for me. Now, I don't feel any of this is being done or said in a bad way. I've always handled the majority of these types of things, but I've been so stifled by everything else going on that I was just existing and not functioning properly to be capable to do what I've always done. I am changing that ever so little by little, to get back to the real me, to regain my confidence in myself to do these things without wondering what the repercussions will be from H. I am finding my way out from under the blanket that was over me.

So, after what started out to be a very weird morning and proceeding day, it got weirder. I worked a little late tonight, so I got home about 45 minutes late from town. H was home! Now folks, that hasn't happened in months! I don't know if it has meaning, or if it just means that in these frigid temps he can't do his normal work and finally ran out of excuses to be gone somewhere. So, I walked in and continued with a comment he had made about being cold and windy while we on the phone earlier. It worked, no tension in our night. H helped with stuff outside, we even worked together a little bit and I suggested a few changes to think about to make things easier and save electricity, and then he cut out early to go skiing. Said he was leaving, I said ok, then he turned to look at me, said see ya later, I said uhhuh, he looked at me a little more, and then walked away to leave. Something a little weird about that but I can't quite figure it.

Then, I went and met a few new friends for coffee and pie. Neat! and it turned out that I combined it to also meet a customer that needed some supplies from us, so it was a double duty trip.

And here I am, feeling pretty dang good about me. Just me, I don't have a clue about all the rest of this mess, but feeling pretty good about ME. I hope it can last.