Hanging on/The Long Haul

[WCW]

I think if I add it all up, I've seen H less than one hour since Sunday. And of that hour scattered out in a few minutes at a time, conversation has been about 5 minutes total.

Last night I worked late, had an appt, went home and took care of things there, and then left for a meeting, no H around yet, I got home after 10pm. Nothing said when I came in, H didn't ask any questions, even about my mom. He always said he liked his inlaws, I thought he would at least care enough to ask about her. Finally he said something about some extra couch pillows sitting in a bag, someone dropped them off to use as a donation for a benefit I'm working on for early next year.

We have a snowy morning, schools closed for the day, I mentioned that to him and joked if he was closing his business for the day? He said something about his last appt last night was already talking about closing schools today, hhmm, was that a slip of the tongue? he released information about where he was. When I was leaving this morning he was in the shower again, I said be careful today. He hollered out 'what did you say?' I repeated, 'be careful today, there's lots of snow out there.' He sounded surprised.

I think I feel okay about this for now. Of course I am sad that we are even at this point and he doesn't share anything with me, and that he doesn't want to know anything about me so I don't say anything either. Is that mirroring? I act like him? but I sure don't like being like him. Treat him like he treats me, or treat him the way I want to be treated? I suppose I know the answer to that, because treating him the way I want to be treated hasn't accomplished anything. But I don't see how being such a bad a$$ like him is going to make me feel better about me. I just don't think I can be that kind of person, at least not for long. And honestly he's not that kind of person either except to me. sigh.