Hmmmm....

I have to agree with Piglet on your H's LL. Not that it's easy to tell here in cyberspace. But, you certainly seem to want the touching, massages, hugs, etc. And H seems luke warm or best in response. But, it sure sounds like he likes those words of affirmation. Have you given it a solid 2 or 3 weeks? What was his reaction?

I also have to agree with Piglet about needing ALL the LL's to an extent. I was actually thinking about that just today. It seems like I want most what is lacking most at the time. H is a hermit. I used to think he might be a touch agoraphobic (seriously). So we RARELY left the house together. So, based on that I was thinking my LL was Quality Time. But since H's last visit, the physical touching we had meant so much that I think I'm Physical Touch now. But, H is really good at acts of service. And I have to say, I wouldn't ever want to give that up, especially in my sitch, and it sure makes me feel important to him. I gues the gifts LL is probably the only one I would give up IF I REALLY had to (I love to get flowers-it makes me feel special).

Maybe your LL does change over time and maybe it's really a function of what's going on in your R. What you're missing at the moment. I imagine there's still one or two that mean the most. But, they are all really important. And, once again (this is getting redundant , I have to agree with Piglet and say that the big issue is if you're ignoring your spouses LL and assuming they just need the same thing you do.

It's kind of a bummer when all this detailed LL talk sounds like discussing the icing when you don't even have the ingredients for the cake. Darned hard to give your WAS their LL when they aren't around physically or emotionally to accept it, let alone figure out what IT is.

Hope you get some restfull sleep tonight WCW. I'm aiming at the same thing. And guess what I got S3 for Christmas...riding lessons!!!! Last month I found this riding stable and took S3 there to go purchase this riding lesson package for him. But the second we walked into the indoor arena he covered his face with his hand and started saying "I don't wanns smell it, I don't wanna smell it!" S3 is so weird about smells! It's actually very funny. He won't go in the bathroom after grandma has been in there. And I once tried to get him inside a port-o-potty...oh my goodness that did not work out. But, anyway, the arena was clean, it just smelled like manure. S3 ran out and would not come back in, so that was that.

Well, the same stables had pony rides with Santa Claus this weekend and we went back to give it a try. He went inside this time! And loved the pony ride. The trainer said last time she had a door open to an outer stall she was cleaning out, so it did actually smell stronger (I didn't notice). So now S3 is set up for his first lesson on Rocky the Pony Christmas Eve morning. Is that not the coolest thing!?!?!?!

I'm sure I am probably more excited about it than he is, but hey, he's got to fulfill my dreams afterall.

My Latest Thread