Hanging on/The Long Haul

[WCW]

Heard from my mom this morning, step dad is doing great and will come home this afternoon. He had a stint and angioplasty (sp?) in a small vessel, would have had a heart attack soon if he wouldn't have went in. I am so glad he didn't ignore the signs any longer like he usually does. My mom and step dad both are very special the best ever parents. I selfishly want them around for a very long time to come.

amd - my goal list - the volunteer projects have print deadlines of the 10th and 15th, so that breaks some of that down. I'm working on little pieces of housework, focus on one little thing and stay there instead of flittering around on too many things, I am seeing a difference, and I'm liking it. Horse therapy is for me, but also it may encourage interaction with H if he will hang around the barn long enough and offer assistance (warmer temps coming will help too). This will also help with regaining my confidence around H again. Work - well, that's the responsibility thing, can't ignore it. Need the paycheck just as much as I need the time off.

Really? a positive attitude lately? I was so bad just 40 hours ago I am ashamed of myself and embarassed about me. I can usually get past those toughest times of struggle and come out of it without H even finding out, but the damage is done and I can't take take it back. I worry about how much it has affected H, and I wish I had not sunk so low and hurt him even more than he perceives in the past. I am sure this one won't go away, he will bring it up and use it for ammunition at his convenience.