I sure thought about is, especially last night, but this morning I didn't have time. But I *think* it was a test of some sort, because usually he'll wait until I'm all done and out of the room before he goes in, and then he's in the shower when I leave. Today was different, I hope for a good reason, and I hope I passed whatever his test was. And, this horrible thought, last time he was in the shower early was when I found him at ow's. Yuck!
Also, for the first time in weeks, I made contact with him during the day today. Could have let it slide with just a little inconvenience, but I was headed to the office supply store and remembered when H was printing yesterday the low ink came on. We have so many printers at work, I couldn't recall what model we have at home, so I called, went to voice mail, he called back right after I got back to work, went to voice mail, I called him back, we had a friendly conversation, his voice sounded good. Ya know how pathetic I am? I left his message in my voice mail so I can listen to it again because he had happy/okay in his voice. Geez, pathetic alright.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
H was home a few minutes and now gone again skiing tonight. Funny how he could get home so early tonight and not any other night? No surprise. At first I thought he had taken his stuff with him today and wasn't stopping home, but he did stop home. This is his first time back on skis since his injury, it's been two years since he's skied. Doctor has said that it would be easy to reinjure and be laid up even longer. So I took the chance and put my hands on H and said, "I hope you ski safe and if it hurts too much or doesn't feel right then don't do it, okay?" His sarcastic reply, "then I shouldn't work either?" I just walked outside, I didn't respond. He followed in a few minutes and helped me with a few things, then said see ya later and left. But it really bugged me. I mean, I have the insurance and thousands of dollars of medical bills that I JUST finished paying off last month, doesn't that 'buy me the right' to at least say please be careful? Not in his mind. So I steamed awhile outside in the frigid temps here, and then sent him a txt mssge. "I'll try again. hope ur skiing is safe and doesn't hurt too much. pain is weakness leaving the body. don't get cold." I wonder if he'll catch the double meaning of 'dont get cold'? The message hasn't been delivered yet, I suppose he turned his beloved phone off figuring that I'd try to call him. But, at least I know if his phone is off he's not spending his skiing night on the phone with OW like he used to do.
So Monday night is bachorelette night until I decide to go along sometime!! And maybe I'll just go myself and reacquaint myself with skis when H isn't around, and then surprise him when I do go with him and he watches me swooosh down the hill. Ah, that's a funny sight! I have to laugh at myself because I really am a bad skier. Even with the expertise of H helping me and a few lessons in the past, my knees lock up and that makes it pretty dang hard to turn. aaahhhhhh, a tree!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Quote: I suppose he turned his beloved phone off figuring that I'd try to call him.
WCW, dear friend! No assumptions!!! No expectations!!! I know it is tough to do, but it is possible, dear. He is quite a character, your H, I must say. Sometimes reading your updates, I just want to hit this guy. Sorry!!! Doesn't he see what a tereasure you are!!!
BTW, this is actually an awesome 180 idea to reacquaint yorself with skis! Go for it!
My latest life Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm - Winston Churchill
I hope you ski safe and if it hurts too much or doesn't feel right then don't do it, okay?" His sarcastic reply, "then I shouldn't work either?" I just walked outside, I didn't respond. He followed in a few minutes and helped me with a few things, then said see ya later and left.
Ok, first U have to say Azen is on to something about the injury and his feeling imasculated. That was clear in that little exchange. He wants to be very sure that he is still just 100% a man if you know what I mean. Anger wasn't at you at all.
Now, you know why he walked aside and helped you right? He FELT BAD. I'm seeing a pattern with this guy here. He felt bad for snapping at you, but, of course, he can't say that. Instead, he follows you outside.
Oh but anesyr, I was correct. Mssge delivered 2 hours later. H either had his phone off and turned it back on, OR his new cell phone is having issues again. That's it! poor guy, more cell phone trouble. Ah, sarcasm is showing......I am watching a dvd of Gallagher - and LMAO! feels pretty good too!
I'm really liking the idea of skiing without H around first. I got plenty of time off work coming, I can go during the day and H wouldn't even have to know! But it's just gotta be above 0 for me to think it will be fun, even though I like the outdoors!
My next new fundraiser, take a whack for just $1. The line is forming to the left. Just kidding, but someone remind me why I still want to spend the rest of my life with this guy? I really wonder at times if it just a habit I can't overcome, yet.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Quote: Just kidding, but someone remind me why I still want to spend the rest of my life with this guy? I really wonder at times if it just a habit I can't overcome, yet.
Yes, bigAl. I am searching the www for a new support system. So far I have found a Swifter Picker Upper, but I haven't measured the handle length yet.
He wants to be very sure that he is still just 100% a man if you know what I mean. I want to help with that, but he turns me down! Seriously, I think that injury is the reason we have been together the last year, he couldn't leave after that happened, or at least it would have been nearly impossible to leave then. So as tough as it's been to deal with, I still thank the Lord to have had this extra time to work on me/us/marriage. I do wish I would have been smarter all this time and made better use of what was given me. Any suggestions to be smarter? or how to hang in there?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Well, well. Time ticked by last night, well after the time H should have been home. I oscillated between going to bed or going for a drive. Sub zero temps, I opted for a drive. I thought if nothing else I’d clear the frost from the windows of the car and H would notice when he got home, ‘create mystery/180 theory’. I feel stupid playing such games but I’m always sitting around waiting for him to come home. Turns out I drove back in the driveway right in front of him, not exactly my first choice to happen, but no where else to go unseen at that point. Went in the house, H took quite a while to park and get stuff from his truck, and by that time I was ready for bed. Do I wait and talk? Or get in bed? I got in bed. I wanted to hear about his skiing, but he never came and offered information, or asked me anything but I didn’t figure he would, and by this time I was thinking I’ve screwed up enough tonight and just leave it alone. But then I heard some noise, and the dogs started barking, so I got up to see if critters were lurking. H was on his laptop, asked if things were okay outside, I said I didn’t see anything and went back to bed. Got back up, asked H if he would come warm my feet up, I was really cold, and he could tell me about skiing. He gave a 4 sentence version of his night, said he needed to get in skiing shape again. I offered a massage, he said that wouldn’t help. I said I’d wear pajamas if he was afraid of something happening, he said he wasn’t afraid of anything. I asked if the ski hill stayed open late tonight, he said not that he knew of, I said oh, I didn’t think the roads were that bad (referring to him being home so late). He said, oh yeah? (I could hear sarcasm coming) I went back to bed. Slept fitfully with my babysitter the rest of the night, the TV.
This morning we had some conversation about the breaking news and cold weather. H was in the shower when I left, I told him there was at least one cow outside the fence to put back in.
Today at work I was emailing and the auto list popped up of options, and OW’s name was there. It was too tempting for me to avoid, I sent an email. Very nice, really, here it is - Good Morning……..your name popped up from the list of ~~~~~ in my email as I was sending something to the HR department, and I thought……oh what the heck………it’s the Christmas season. So, Merry Christmas!
How’s things going? Keep hearing about your new place, you’re sure the talk of many communities. Were you expecting such celebrity status? Sounds like (H) has still been a great source of support for you. I’d love a tour sometime too! And to see your puppies. Well, I suppose they’re hardly puppies anymore, time goes so fast. TTFN
Now maybe this is real dumb to do, but one thing I keep thinking about was H said when I found him leaving her place and we were talking about her being a wedge between us, he said ‘it doesn’t have to be’. Never got more of an explanation from him, but if this woman is really nothing more than a friend then I’ve always maintained that I shouldn’t be a problem for them either and no reason not to include me in their dealings. Afterall, H says they’ve done nothing wrong or nothing to feel guilty about.
‘Tis the season for the reason.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
aaahhhhhh, a tree! 
Seriously, I think that injury is the reason we have been together the last year, he couldn't leave after that happened, or at least it would have been nearly impossible to leave then. So as tough as it's been to deal with, I still thank the Lord to have had this extra time to work on me/us/marriage. I do wish I would have been smarter all this time and made better use of what was given me. Any suggestions to be smarter? or how to hang in there?