Got this from my Mom today.....is she more intuitive than I give her credit for?
Letting Go of Regrets Improves Your Health
One of my mentors is Myrna, who is in her 90s and lives by the saying, “Yesterday’s history; tomorrow’s a mystery; today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
Myrna appreciates every little thing in her life. Every day is a wonderful day, no matter how she feels physically. Each meal is “delicious.” Each friend knows she is loved. Myrna’s secret is that she has no regrets. Regrets keep us holding on to the past. They prevent us from living in the moment and enjoying life. And they affect our health.
Letting go of emotional patterns does more than make us feel better emotionally. It can have a profound effect on our physical body. Constipation, chronic illnesses, and overeating are all patterns of not letting go. And yes, there’s an interaction between your physical and emotional patterns.
When you change any emotional pattern, other patterns change, as well. Letting go of past regrets can help remind you to not overeat during the holidays. To get enough rest. To take your supplements and eat healthy foods, especially when you’re under stress. They can remind you to have a positive outlook. And fall is the perfect time to let go of negative physical and emotional patterns.
You may be familiar with the concept of detoxifying in the spring. That’s the most common time for cleansing diets and juice fasts. But fall is the season when we prepare for winter by gently cleansing both our body and our emotions. Make letting go of any regrets a part of your fall cleanse.
How to let go
I’ve noticed that people who keep focusing on their regrets become bitter, complaining, and negative. They also tend to have health problems. Their regrets seem to be saying, “You’re stuck forever with something you can’t undo.”
It’s not easy to let go of past regrets, but Hamilton Beazley, PhD, author of No Regrets: A 10-step program for living in the present and leaving the past behind (John Wiley & Sons, 2004), has found ways that can help.
If you use this book as a workbook, and if you’re willing to let go of thoughts and emotions that work against you, you can leave your regrets behind. When you do, you’ll feel lighter, freer, and happier. And I predict your health will improve, as well.
Beazley’s program begins by describing each regret. They include those you or someone else committed but wished hadn’t happened; those you wish you or someone else had committed; incidents caused by fate; inevitable losses; and comparing yourself to someone else. My suggestion is to choose one — the one that holds you tight in its grip and causes you the most pain. After working this one through, you can choose another. Examining all of your regrets at once can be overwhelming.
Next, examine your regret. What was its cause? What were the consequences? How did it fasten itself onto your thoughts, becoming part of who you are? Look at how this regret affects you emotionally. It may cause you to be angry, frightened, guilty, shameful, in pain, or long for something you don’t have. You can’t change the past. It’s time to leave this incident, and the pain it has caused, behind.
You’ve held on to your regrets all alone, but you won’t be alone during this process of letting go. Beazley asks you to find someone you can confide in as you work each of the steps. And he strongly believes that prayer, spending time in nature, and deep breathing are all important parts of this healing. Use your spiritual connection and prayer throughout this process to help you through difficult times.
Forgiveness is the goal, not the process
Know that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing someone’s hurtful behavior. It doesn’t mean forgiving only if the person apologizes to you. And it doesn’t mean you have to ever be friends with the person who caused you pain. Forgiveness is a gift for you, not for anyone else.
You should be happy and healthy. Often, toxic emotions and painful situations from our past become so much a part of us that we don’t even see them for what they are: regrets we can choose to let go. Let this be this year’s Fall Cleanse. For on the other side of forgiveness is compassion — a place where peace and joy reside. There is no more powerful way to detoxify.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.