I know you feel ganged up on here...but rest assured, many of us know exactly where you are at right now...and that's probably why we are trying to give you a reality check...we've been there too.
Right about the time I started posting here I had someone pursuing me heavily....he knew I was married too. However he made it quite clear he intended to steal me away from my H. It just so happened to be the business partner of my late fiancee....a man in many ways very much my type. I didn't ask for his attention, but it came my way....I didn't encourage it, but I still got it. Eventually it became apparant to me that I was looking forward to it. I wasn't emotionally attached to this person, didn't do anything wrong at all....but I realized at that time that I, was actually beginning to understand how people have affairs and still loved their spouses. That scared the he!! out of me! I am a person who is dead-set against affairs, if I could understand how it could be done....and I could actually see how it could be justified....exactly where was my line in the sand? Could I be sure I wouldn't have a weak moment? If I did....who could blame me? That type of thinking.
It dawned on me that this was a HUGE danger sign. This man was providing me with the attention my H should be providing me. If he was doing that, then at what point would I become vulnerable to an affair? The fact was...I was already vulnerable. Once I realized that I put a complete end to any possible contact from this man. He could no longer phone me, he could no longer e-mail me. Any gifts I received were sent back or trashed. (For those of you reading this.....this was always a one way thing, I never contacted him.)
That is my reason behind flashing those warning signs for you cally. FWIW....I constantly reevaluate my M. So far fortunately for my H I'm still very much committed to it....but if someday I reevaluate and find I'm not, then I will have had enough and I will know it's time for me to move on.
