Cobra....Maybe a part of me IS angry that he won't step up to the plate in any aspect of our marriage and say what he feels about anything. It's like I feel I am the parent in our relationship and I hate that. I feel I WAS taking his feelings into consideration when I point blank asked him to his face if he would be angry if I had a male friend. When he said nope that he didn't care I took that at face value. I don't play head games like that, never have. Maybe he does see it as sign of weakness to admit it.
Hmmmm if I did see it from his point of view...it would be that he didn't care what I did or with who I did it with. Maybe I am being selfish in this once instance. Because in real life I always put myself last. I step up to the plate and am always there for my parents to help them with anything. I am there for husbands parents whenever they have needed it. My children come before me always and always will. I do volunteer work whenever I get a moment. But also a new role for me is I am working full time. On top of that I am expected to do all the cleaning, shopping finances, yard work, etc. I am the kind of person if I got a check for my b-day I would spend it on the kiddos or hubby. So maybe this is one instance where I feel it is okay to be selfish. I am not really sure. I am not out daily or even weekly with this friend. He doesn't call all the time. He is is simply a casual friend. Another thing I found odd is that one day while hubby was at my work a co-worker walked by(male) and said man you look hot today. This guy is a big jokster. I didn't respond at all. I guess he didn't know that was my husband standing there. He again told me that day he doesn't care who compliments me it doesn't bother him. I guess part of me was hoping it would bother him. Or wake him up in some way to think man what I am doing I have a great loooking wife.
