And add to this that each person has to be the final authority on whether the other person is coming through for them.
I guess this takes us back to the Love Languages.
My bf mows the lawn, cooks dinner, feeds the dog, checks the oil in my car, cleans the bathroom... to him this is meeting my need to be loved and to be shown love.
If I say that as much as I appreciate these things (and I DO-- so very much!), I still want him to touch me and tell me I'm pretty, he says, "What I do is never good enough for you!"
I think this is a roadblock in many R's here: each partner feels they are communicating love to the partner, and do not accept the recipient's word that the message is not quite getting through.
This seems to be where you and NOP had the breakthrough that is missing for many of us: seeing, Getting, and accepting the other person's point of view in a non-defensive way.
