I've been researching intimacy and ran across a few quotes on several different website I thought I would pass on some of the ones that I liked.
"Intimacy requires that we be ourselves with no pretense. We must dare to show one another who we are, without masks and secrets. Then we can be accepted, quirks and all. Unless we take that risk, we will never have the opportunity to be fully accepted. If we fail to expose who we are, we develop disregard for ourselves; and that keeps us at a distance from others."
"Let's define “marital intimacy” as the dynamic process of each of you mates trusting the safety of honestly disclosing your current feelings, needs, fantasies, dreams, fears, hopes, “failings” and limitations, “general thoughts,” and honest relationship feedback to yourself and your partner. "
"Intimacy grows as couples dare to risk greater openness. As each partner becomes more honest with himself and more aware of his own faults, and his own need to blame the other for their conflict, the wall between them begins to come down, block by block. Each of us feels the need to hide at times, behind a mask of self-sufficiency or self-justification, particularly when conflict threatens or self-esteem is weak. Only as each individual relaxes his mask and becomes more transparent (openness) can intimacy develop in the relationship.
Carl R. Rogers uses the term congruence to describe one aspect of openness.(4) Congruence means being a real person, not being phony or putting on an act. It means knowing and owning one's feelings; it means to "ring true" as a human being. There is a kind of inner honesty and consistency in a congruent person which makes it possible to know and to relate to him.
In order to have peace, many couples put aside certain subjects -- those that are emotionally charged -- those that are important for their coming to a true mutual understanding. Thus bit by bit the transparent window which the relationship of man and wife should be, becomes blurred. They are starting to become strangers to one another.(5)
Intimacy thus requires mutual openness and the willingness to risk genuine encounter or meeting in areas which are important to either partner. Intimacy grows as couples learn to be emotionally present to each other. The concept of presence is taken from the thinking of the existentialists in psychotherapy."
I also ran across another intimacy breakdown list:
Sexual Intimacy: Emotional Intimacy: Intellectual Intimacy: Aesthetic Intimacy: Creative Intimacy: Recreational Intimacy: Work Intimacy: Crisis Intimacy: Conflict Intimacy: Commitment Intimacy: Spiritual Intimacy: Communication Intimacy:
