I have some experience of scheduling and it has improved things for us from 3 times a year to 3 times a month. The important thing is frequency. The first time I suggested it (well before I knew you guys) we agreed on once a month which was the best I could negotiate. It failed because the long delay meant that sex was still a BIG ISSUE with the end of the month being filled with "Pressure". It fizzled out after a couple of months but it did enable me to argue for once a week when I returned to the subject last year. I was able to point out that when we tried once a month in the past it didn't work and once a week would stand a better chance. The reason why frequency is so important is because time builds up a thick thorny forest around the LD and hey, you're no Prince Charming or you wouldn't be stuck in the thorn bushes would you? Frequency breaks down the fear barrier and once sex becomes part of the routine and not some massive point of conflict you can begin to improve quality and hopefully start to enjoy it. If you can get to once a day well that's not a schedule is it? Me, I'd be happy to settle on once a week schedule and one other time in the week at her initiation. Is that too much to expect? SD
