The schedule idea really helped our marriage. Neither one of us is HD enough to be the driving force behind a regular sex life; H tends to follow my lead, and I am inconsistent at best. He feels pressured by me when I am HD and doesn't assert himself when I am LD. The schedule gives us both a chance to know what to expect, and I know H likes feeling he can fill my needs. We keep an element of surprise by allowing 24 hrs from the agreed upon day, with H generally being the initiator ( which I like). On average we tend to have sex 2x/week...once during the week and once on the weekends. It's not perfect...there are times I feel spontaneously sexual and feel I can't act on it, and other times when I wonder how I am going to get some desire going, but this is the first time in many yrs that we have had a steady sex life. It does hurt that H doesn't have more natural desire of me; that we are not as openly expressive and intimate as I would like; and that we have setbacks, but overall I think we have a good plan set in place.
My thank yous to the NOPs for vaildating the schedule idea.
