Actually both of us are resistent to scheduling sex, each for our own reasons.
I believe that H is afraid that he will let me down..not be physically interested on that night (performance anxiety, iow) or will flat out refuse and start a fight. So he masks his reasons for not wanting to do it by saying that he prefers spontaneity. Which is a crock, as he doesn't prefer spontaneity in ANY area of his life. He is pre-avoiding conflict.
Me....I'm pre-avoiding the lack of desire and pursuit. I don't get heaps of that now (although it's increasing every week) but I worry that if there was a schedule it would really go down the drain. I worry that he'd stop all pursuit because...well, why...we're already scheduled to ML so why do that other stuff? Or, worse, he'd make corny jokes about our "hot date" in that snorting Chrissy-from-Three's-Company style. Ok, he doesn't really snort but his awkward nervous chatter would suck any spark out of the situation.
Ok, here's what I'm really afraid of, as it concerns scheduling: Do I really have enough heat to bring it on, for the both of us? To lead us through this situation? I don't know!
Lots to think about with this. Thank you for posting this MrsNOP. This is something I've been tossing around literally for years and have not made the commitment to see it through.
