Sometimes I find your posts irritating. This started out being one of those times. You remind me of a Moebius Strip - constantly circling 'round and 'round.
But, I stopped and realized that you must feel so deep into rejection, hurt, and despair that circling might be the only thing keeping you going. My heart goes out to you, it truly does. I also realize that of all the posters on this forum, you are the one I feel like I know the least about.
Do you find it hard to reveal yourself in a fuller fashion? What sort of conversations do you have with your wife? Do you ever have any personal interactions/conversations with her?
Scheduled sex is a tool. I said that. It isn't *the* goal, it is a way of at least pointing the two of you *toward* the goal.
I don't know how to make myself any clearer to you than I have in the past.
I once avoided NOP's touch, kisses and carresses. I don't recall flirting with him, since my standard operating mode was to avoid him as much as humanly possible while living in the same dwelling.
My sexual drive HAS NOT CHANGED.
But.
I flirt with NOP. I kiss him, caress him, grab his crotch, nuzzle his neck, touch him when I walk by, grab hugs, reach for his hand, kiss-lick-suck his penis, make love in various positions, playfully slap his naked butt when he's coming out of the shower. Last night I walked down the hall wiggling my a$$ at him and laughing about "presenting" to him like baboons do in nature. And I enjoy all of the above.
If *I* can change, *your wife* can too - and her sex drive doesn't have to return to its former glory days.
But you have to *start* somewhere.
Will scheduled sex automatically get you all of the above?
No.
But turning 'round and 'round without pushing for *something* will never get you any of the above.
Please talk to us, share what happens in your day with your wife. Don't just wander off without responding only to pop up later in some other thread repeating the same complaints. Share yourself as well as the complaints!
