"But what I heard, and you probably didn't....is that there is hope. Her saying "awhile" means there's hope that yes, you will again have what you are looking for. She didn't say "that will never happen", she didn't say "I will never"....she said it will be awhile. Putting myself in her shoes, that's only reasonable.....right now she's feeling pretty betrayed, yet she still doesn't say "never"."
You are right, awhile is scary to me. Oddly, never would just be a different kind of scary. There would be a resolution, but of course the consequences of that resolution are scary.
"I know you are scared about a great many things right now....so much is in the realm of the unknown for you....and the unknown (for me anyway) is one of the scariest places to be. "
I think the only scarier place for me than the unknown is the lonely. I am feeling that a bit too. Even though it was wrong, the EA did satiate my overwhelming need for companionship that was not being met in my marriage. That is until it came crashing down and my lonliness became even more acute.
"Try your best to deal with today, be the best husband and father you can be today...worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. IMPO when you start worrying about the "what if's" down the road tomorrow, next week, or next year then that drags you down when it comes to working on today. It's an easy pitfall to fall into."
I am trying to do the one day at a time thing. But I am also trying to keep my eyes open. They were shut and blind to what was going on around me for far too long.
"Who knows....it might work for you too, I sure hope it helps."
I remember that suggestion, and I remember at the time I was beginning to feel a lot better about myself, so I didn't think I would need it. I'll give it a whirl. Thanks GEL.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
