Chrome, this is a tough spot to be in, for you and your W.
Here's a teeny tiny positive spin on your telling your W about the EA: your W was probably imagining that a whole lot more went on between you and OW. When you told her the truth about the extent of it, even though it was icky, at least it banished other pictures that were probably in her mind. What I'm saying is that her fantasy about what happened between you two was ver likely a whole lot more extensive than what really happened (i.e., she may have fantasized you and OW ML for hours, lots of detail, tons of emotional and physical connection, you and EA plotting and planning to D your spouses and marry, etc.). The reality-- though still hurtful-- is considerably less than that. And now she doesn't have to picture the worst anymore.
Your C sounds wonderful-- I'm so glad you have him. You might ask about the relationship between depression and anger and take some time to feel your own anger. You may think you've been such a bad guy that you're not entitled to any anger... but the anger may still be eating you up. One definition of depression is anger turned inward.
