I do have friends, some IRL and some here. The one thing I don't have is someone to give me a nice warm friendly hug everyday. I know that would go a long way toward giving me the strength to carry on.

This is where you really need to pull out the self-esteem you are developing and give yourself that hug everyday. My self-esteem is so much stronger than it was in past years. Some people may even think I'm a little "cocky" as BF likes to put it. I find that so amusing because that is sooo not the way I used to be.
But you know what, eventually I stopped being concerned with if everyone likes me or not.
When H left, I felt truly alone in the world in so many ways. I didn't have one friend that was going through something similar or even something similar in the past. I had no reference points. I needed to figure out so much on my own and I did!
Now, I am proud of my self- esteem. Sure it hurts a little when people make negative comments or they outright ignore you. But that is not your concern. Your W is her own person, don't internalize her treatment of you into your own poor sense of self.
I could have done that easily. "H left, I must be a real loser, b*tch", etc. Nope. Not true. I am a good, interesting, fairly intelligent person who is a real catch Believe and it shall be. You are the same Chrome. I've told you over and over.
You mentioned being concerned about if ow was using you to make herself feel better. Does it matter? Maybe she was maybe she wasn't. Isn't that ultimately what all R are? Surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. Why people are attracted to one another in the first place? Unless you're a real masochist, you like people who make you feel good or make you think. They stimulate you in some way (not sexually, lol). But that's good too
I just think you have so much potential in you. If you get a handle on the self-esteem, your W will embrace who you are and the M will survive. Maybe even thrive.
Hang in there.
LFL