Quote: I may have just been a catalyst to an already bad situation
If her marriage is/was in trouble, she would have found a catalyst-- whether or not you were around. You two found each other because both of you had your antennae up and your channels open. If she hadn't met you, she would have met someone else. If there hadn't been a fissure in her marriage, she never would have noticed you, or you would have been strictly friends with no "vibes." No one from outside can CAUSE that fissure. Likewise with you... if you decide right now that no matter how you feel, you will not be receptive to any "feelers" or "vibes" from another woman, then this can never happen again to you. Now you are aware, and, I promise you, it will not happen again unless you consciously choose it.
This is why:
It's very much the way we teach children that if they feel "funny" when they are with certain people that they should trust those feelings and run away. And of course, we teach them not to let people touch them in ways that make them feel funny. If a five-year old gets weird feelings when Uncle Zeke's hand lingers on his little tushie longer than necessary, don't you think a 35-year old KNOWS somewhere inside himself what's going on when a woman stands in front of him and fingers his tie or his lapel or comments on how tired he's looking, and asks how are things at home? There are ways a woman can do that that are perfectly innocent, and there are ways that are fraught with vibes. (Same goes for men.) Maybe the first time, you can convince yourself you really didn't know what was going on, but not the second time, or the twentieth. Stuff like this should send up red flags in an adult just like the funny stuff should in children. Sorry... I got up on my "affairs don't just happen" soapbox again.
What I mean is, if her channels were open, sooner or later she would have met a guy who was receptive to an EA or even a PA. It just so happened that your paths crossed. You didn't DO this to her or make it happen. She was open... she might have connected with any number of people. You aren't responsible for her actions, only for yours.
Okay, before I get the cyber-smacks, I'm not saying that it's okay to run around trying to seduce someone... I mean that you can only control what YOU do, not what someone else does-- that means the bad things you/they do and the good things you/they do. We're not powerful enough to make others do what they don't want to do-- I should think this board provides plenty of evidence of that.
