I'll give one more tidbit of info, although I'm sure it will lead to some cyber-boards upside my head. I did find out through mutual friend (whatever you do, don't bash her, she is just trying to help both of us which is an extremely difficult task, she is a great person) that OW's H has been making a lot of threats lately and things appear to be heading toward a crisis. So my natural tendency to want to help people has really kicked in, especially since I know I am the cause of the problem. Well maybe, I may have just been a catalyst to an already bad situation. Anyway, I know that there is nothing I can do to help, even trying would just make things worse. But it is still killing me inside. I feel like I am the auto mechanic that worked on the brakes on a car that later wrecked and now I am waiting, wondering if anyone will survive the wreck.
Anyway, that is one thing that has been plaguing my mind lately.
I'm sorry I haven't been as much help to everyone here as you guys have been to me. I thought I was getting strong enough to get to the point where I could be a help, but I've been set back quite a bit by this. I'll get through this though, like I did before.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
