"No really it has been interesting confusing but interesting. I am humbled by all your superior knowledge. And clueless as to who is right or wrong or if there is a right or wrong. Need to start reading my kids school books lol."

Well, then I have not done a very good job explaining myself. I'll admit that for the sake of brevity I probably have taken explanation short-cuts. It has always been my philosophy as a teacher that if I can't explain something to ANYBODY, then I don't truly understand it. If there is any specific thing that is confusing, please let me know and I'll try to do a better job. Not dumb it down (I hate it when people ask me to do that), just find a better way to explain it given the person's past experiences, kwim? "Easier" explanations to understand are often much more complex at their root, and can sometimes miss the point due to excessive reductionism.

Oh, and there isn't a right or wrong side between me, Corri, and Z-bube. We are debating "frontier science" which by necessity will have many questions and debatable points. In fact, the stuff that doesn't is actually pretty boring (i.e. Newtonian mechanics, F = ma and all that).

"Your number one the sense of dread you acknowledge it so you feel it. Your cannot ignore it. It will not go away. You can detach from it which is not a great coping skill. Or you can change your prespective/expectations of home coming instead of focusing on what is not waitting for you focus on what is."

I see what you are saying Chrissy, and I try to make that fine distinction between ignoring and redirecting. I do agree with my coach that defeating gloom is a case of "not feeding the monster." If you sit there and dwell on the gloom, it just gets worse and worse. If you don't dwell on it, it will go away. kwim?

"And the simple joys of reading blues clues instead of figuring out the clashing of the worlds theory while sitting on a comfy bed vs a uncomfortable desk."

Good one! Although one version of heaven to me is a room full of science books on topics I haven't read yet, or a person to discuss controversial topics with (notice I didn't say debate). Yes, I am a serious nerd.

"IMOP focusing more on the positive of what is waiting at home instead of ignoring how you feel would be more productive."

Right. That is what I meant by distracting myself. I am not pushing the gloom to some inner part of myself where it will bite me later, I am just actively choosing not to dwell on it.

"One do you have a back up plan if you see this is not working? And two how long are you willing to wait for a positive response from your wife to decide if it is working? Maybe these are not important questions for what you C is trying to achieve. Just wondering since I see alot about boundries and time tables needing to be established."

Unfortunately no I don't, and this is a great source of dissatisfaction right now. We don't have any time tables for the return of affection or sex or vacationing together, etc. Our C just made some vague suggestion that we should start thinking about making plans, which gave my W enough room to wiggle out of doing anything concrete. I'm ok with it though, for now. I can't say how long I will be willing to wait. I guess a really long time though, because I want my M to work. I will say though I will change tactics if necessary. 3 month blocks may be a good start though, I'll think about it.

"If there is no way a person should feel then there is no way a response should be. That is all a part of excepting the how you do feel you have to walk away from the shoulds."

Well, I think I am adopting more of a "let's try this response to that emotion and see how it works" approach. You are right, there is not a way you SHOULD respond to an emotion. Sometimes it is obvious, but often it isn't. I think that is one of the problems with R books. They tend to adopt a "you should respond this way" approach, which may work for some people, but not all.

"Ah just my thoughts. Sorry I could not put them into master of the universe theme for you!"

I'm glad you put your thoughts here. All you had to do was yell "I have the power!" in your best Dolph Lundgren voice and you would have covered the Masters of the Universe/He-man thing very well.





"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"

Inertia Creeps by Massive Attack