Chrom, One of the things my H did when I first started staying at home was to install the following rule: When he arrives home, he comes to me first. He gives me a hug and a kiss (and some fabulous eye contact--this has always been a constant despite our bedroom difficulties) and then commences the screamin mimi chaos with our little girls.
He did not wait for me to come to him...he searches me out until he finds me. Sometimes, of course, I'm off doing something and the screamin mimis get to him before I do, but he more or less shakes them off when he finds me. He even says, I have to hug mommy first, then I'll get to you guys. Now, this is not a hard and fast rule..gimme a break right..they are little ones who have a way of ruining every Tender Parental Moment. The baby just comes up and flat out pushes us apart, then raises her arms as if to say, Yo here I am..which wanna you lucky dogs is going to pick me up? lol
This might not work in your house but I don't see why not. Simply tell the kids and your wife that there's a new sheriff in town and that a smile and a kiss is what you need from each of them, upon returning from work. That's not too much to ask and it really helps set the tone for the whole evening. Something about him coming to me first makes it special and our girls see it, too. If this magnificent Hero Guy goes to ME first, I must be pretty special.
I now believe that it's one of my H's favorite parts of his day to search me out (our home is very small, it's not hard to find me!) and get his hug and kiss. I'm sure you may have figured out that I don't mind this part one bit. I also want to add that most nights I'm right there waiting for him, as we all are, but if not, he will search me out asking the kids over and over, Where's Mom? Reconnecting with me is the first thing on his to-do list upon arriving home. We both make it a priority. It lasts but a brief few seconds (you know how it is with tiny kids) but that's ok.
Oh and the inspiration for this idea came from his sister who is also a sahm. She is only a year older than him, looks exactly like him, and has a good read on him. She later told me that she was afraid that he get so wrapped up in our children that he would forget he was a husband first. Which is precisely what he did. She saw that one coming a mile away! He was so besotted with our first daughter that I suppose it was easy for others to see...I didn't see it right away cause I was just as besotted as he.
Anyway, he's done that every night for the past 6 years and it really helps.
