Quote: Just curious about this sense of doom you experience. That sounds so much like a Pavlovian response. Where does it come from? When you came home as a kid, did you have the same anxieties on entering the house, that a fight or argument would be waiting in the wings with your dad or between your parents? I can understand that dread. But it isn’t happening now.
I used to experience the same thing. The simple explanation for my response is that while I was at work I was distracted from the reality of my marriage. Driving home I would often have to fight tears, because although I could distract myself while at work, now I was going to have to face the then unhappiness that was our relationship. That yawning pit of loneliness within me would rear up larger and larger the closer I got to home along with the ingrained dread that it was never going to change.
Disconnected relationships cause anxiety. You're dealing with the fear that you're going to do something to make it worse. You have a flicker of hope on occasion that it's going to be different this time. Your heart is exposed and beating rapidly behind your protective shield longing to make a connection with your spouse. There are rushes of anger when you think this doesn't have to be so hard and waves of despondency that it is so hopeless.
So, there's a lot happening at that point to get a bit wound up about.
