Did I ever tell you I won second place in the science fair back in the 8th grade?
No? Well hmmm I did, Now I know why I did not win first place. One of you two or three blew me right out of the water. Color me stupid because you all lost me on this thread when you started throwing out equations of life/science. I feel like I need to go back to school. No really it has been interesting confusing but interesting. I am humbled by all your superior knowledge. And clueless as to who is right or wrong or if there is a right or wrong. Need to start reading my kids school books lol.
Any who
Chrome,
Your number one the sense of dread you acknowledge it so you feel it. Your cannot ignore it. It will not go away. You can detach from it which is not a great coping skill. Or you can change your prespective/expectations of home coming instead of focusing on what is not waitting for you focus on what is. Look forward to the meal that is waitting there for you. The wife (though not full of adoration) that is faithfully there and the little ones glee to see daddy. Look forward to the shoes coming off your feet. The chance to put on more comfortable clothes. And the simple joys of reading blues clues instead of figuring out the clashing of the worlds theory while sitting on a comfy bed vs a uncomfortable desk. IMOP focusing more on the positive of what is waiting at home instead of ignoring how you feel would be more productive. Not saying that is always going to be easy.
2. Desire- This seems well thought out. I have two questions One do you have a back up plan if you see this is not working? And two how long are you willing to wait for a positive response from your wife to decide if it is working? Maybe these are not important questions for what you C is trying to achieve. Just wondering since I see alot about boundries and time tables needing to be established. When I really started trying to mend my marriage and not cope with it I started doing things in 3 month blocks. Which is easier on my mind set. Its not a doomed forever type feeling but I have not really figured out if it is a feasible time table to really see improvement either.
I may have misunderstood what your C was saying. From what I read it was more about accept how you feel. It is not right or wrong. And though you feel this you do not have to act in line with/on those feelings. But I did not see ignore how you feel and it will change.
Take the attitude that there is no such thing as what you "should feel"
My first thoughts on how to react to this step would be to list those emotions that I am having trouble with and think of what my response should be.
If there is no way a person should feel then there is no way a response should be. That is all a part of excepting the how you do feel you have to walk away from the shoulds.
Ah just my thoughts. Sorry I could not put them into master of the universe theme for you!
