Thank you very much for this insight. "Creating blame" for myself has been a recurrent theme in my life, since way before this R and its present travails. The current crisis in fact has brought about many, swingeing, rapid changes in my outlook and in my understanding of myself. I have to remind myself that it is she, by initiating this situation, who has been responsible - intentionally or otherwise - for some of these vital breakthroughs.
I just with this new reason to love her was not mixed up with such agony.
