Howdy folks!!!! I wanted to drop in and thank you all again for helping me along the path toward a rebuilt M. I can honestly say that W and I would not be sharing a bed at this point if it weren't for the lot of you old timers here on SSM. A combo of SSM and poor choices were what led to my W's PA. A combo of patience, sensible timely advice, and a D action has allowed us to move past this PA. I don't know what saved the M, but I think it is fully saved at this point. My man-of-steel demanor, coupled with my new job clearly helped my image. My new diet helped dramatically with my libido. (I even ate some buffalo meat on my recent backpacking trip)
I don't mean to drop in and leave clif hangers, and I was never fully schooled on BB ettiquette (nor spelling, for that matter). I just feel compelled to check in on you folks from time to time.
I don't know much about life and how to live it, but I know that after my wife started heading toward her A, I made all the wrong choices. I turned to the SSM board (thanks to GEL) and found help that really was helpful. NOP smacked me around a bit, knocked me off of my pity pot, and made me realize that regardless of my M, I needed to be proud of myself and the way I lived my life. I began to live a bit differently. I began to love life, even without the love of my life. She saw my new joie de vivre, and felt "left out". She pulled away from OM, but it took her a couple of months to fully extricate his claws. The holes are filling in, and the love we are creating is filling both of our "banks".
I have still had a tough time getting back to my old life. My art has taken a back seat to the "other things". I have a list of things I desperately want to do in the shop, but when I go out there, something seems amiss. I am sure I will regain that ability, but I can't force things. In the meantime, my job has developed into a very good thing, and W can quit working whenever she wants.
She is very repentant for her mistakes, and at times I need to ask her to quit apologizing. I still have an occaisional flashback to the miserable times, the times when she was cruel and denounced her love for me. I also find it hard to think about some of our old pass-times that we shared with OM and his wife. (I will gladly find new hobbies with W)
I hope you all are well, and I hope you all find the love you seek.
