First of all, I want to thank you for stopping by and posting. It's always nice to have people offer advice and support.
I just finished reading through most of your threads and I do think I have a bit of advice for you. I'll ask for forgiveness in advance, because it might come off a bit harsh and that is not my attention.
OK, here goes:
I think your marriage is generally "Stable to Good", except for the fact that you don't want to admit it. From the tone of your threads, your H sounds generally happy, if in a bit of a routine. And from reading through your posts, your H's primary love language from the "5LL" books is obviously Quality Time. (ie - he wants to do everything with you, including the mundane stuff like football practices, etc...) However, your primary love language is Acts of Service. (ie - you were thrilled when he started to take care of you when you were sick, yet disappointed when he didn't do dinner the way you wanted or change your oil, etc...)
With that knowledge, you can do a lot of good. For starters, you need to learn to not seem "upset" or uncomfortable giving him what he needs. Whether you mean it or not, if you seem disappointed when he asks you things (ie - like you can't get to the gym because he wants to spend some time with you doing something else) that comes across badly for him.
And on the other hand, since he loves spending time with you, that's what he's trying to do for you to show you he loves you when all you want is the dishes done. If you understand that he's trying to show you he loves you by wanting to spend that time with you, then maybe your roof shingle isn't all that big of a deal anymore...
Then to top it off, you are too afraid to TALK about any of this with him. You just keep internalizing all of this, and as long as you do that NOTHING is going to get better. You have an amazing groundwork here, your situation is the envy of 99% of us on these boards. But to get over the peak, you need to TALK to him. Let him know what you NEED from him. And be willing to learn to offer and accept what he wants from you.
And this doesn't need to be hard. You don't need to walk up to him and say "I want to talk about what's wrong with our marriage." That's going to put anyone on the defensive. Instead I would suggest that you get somewhere private and start off with "I just wanted to let you know how happy I am with how far we have come in the past year. And I want to continue to improve our marriage even more." Then start with him... "Is there anything you think I am doing wrong, or you would like for me to be doing differently?" Then let him talk. After that, then pick one or two things to speak with him about - don't do them all. I might suggest "It would really mean a lot for me to hear "I love you" from you when you hug me once in a while. And then maybe mention one act of service thing you would like for him to do. Then end the conversation. Take those changes and make them babysteps. And go from there...
It won't solve everything, but if it points you in a better direction, the next time you talk and want to add things to the list it will be a lot easier to do.
Finally, again I apologize for sounding harsh, but right now the only thing I see holding your sitch back is YOU and your fear of his answers. But in a wierd way, that's a WONDERFUL problem to have, because it's you that can fix it!!!
((((hugs!)))
My current thread on the "Separated" forum: Click HERE.
