I think you might have misunderstood me. Detaching is not walking away or giving up.
Permit me to take the bucking bronc ride metaphor a bit further:
Although you're not riding the bronc anymore (D has happened), the rope on the bronc is wrapped around your foot (you haven't detached emotionally) and it's dragging you all over the arena, around the barrels, into the wall, etc. You hope the bronc will come to it's senses and quit running around, but in the mean time it's beating you to a pulp emotionally. Of course you feel drained, because you're getting banged and kicked to pieces.
Detaching is cutting the rope. Nothing more, nothing less. You simply release yourself from the rope. You can stay in the arena. If the bronc settles down, you can always approach it again. Or maybe after it realizes it's not dragging you around, it will come over to you to see what's happening. Or maybe it just keeps bucking and never stops.
But detaching is not "giving up".
What I'm saying is to cut the rope, so the bronc's actions aren't wreaking havoc with you on a daily basis.
