Thanks for your kind comments. I realized my part in our breakup and worked on me a year ago. I read DB and hoped that things would go well; but then they didn't. About 2 months ago, things seemed to turn; but that is when I found out about OM...I had never stopped DBing...I just let go of hope; but then she brought it back to me only to make me feel like I am to be crushed again. I am scared. I don't want to walk away; but I am unsure whether I should keep trying. There is a part of me that says it will never get fixed and another that still feels there is hope????
I just wish I could see what the right thing to do is. I feel alot of pain today and would hate to walk away only to find that I should have kept trying. Beyond everything else, I miss my kids daily...Today I got to steal a moment with my son on AOL IM!!! How sad is that? I miss them so much and I miss that she and I can't get back to where we were...I fell like there is noone out there who can ease the pain I am feeling. I know someday I wil probably look back and laugh that I ever got this way; but for now this is reality and it hurts
Will she ever come back to wanting an us???? I hope so; but I feel today like I have used up all my energy and I have none to do what I need to do. I feel like I need to ask her if we will ever work on this; because I am emotionally drained; but I know that if there is ever any chance, that a conversation like that would only push her away right now!!! I am too scared to let go...I just keep floundering...I know I have to ain strength from somewhere; but I feel like I am sinking into a depression that I never have felt before. This sucks...I really thought there was hope for us and maybe there is and I am just not being patient enough; I don't know; but I can't endure much more of this....maybe I am just weak??? Sorry for the pity party; but I couldn't hold these feelings in...Just a bad day that I hope gets better. I just want to pick up the phone and talk to her and can't....I feel like one day, I will have moved on and she will come back and it will hurt to not be able to fix it. THis happened to an aunt of mine many years ago. She broke her X husbands heart and was with another guy. when she wanted back it was too late
