I hear you; but like I said before it's hard to do that. I went to the Y today and swam a few laps. I also go out; but it sucks alot of the time; because it is by myself. The only time I get together with friends is when I go to there house. I know you know this; but it is lonely. I enjoy hanging with someone. I have over the years before I was married ahd too many of those days. Hidden beneath all the smiles I had was loneliness.
As far as taking advantage of my singleness, I originally had gotten to the point where I had joined 2 dating sites and was okay with dating and such. Then like I said, since late November, things were different with her and I...Yes, at that time she was still involved with OM; but it was different. I try not to put all my eggs in one basket; but that too is hard. I mean she seemed okay with me working out with my stepson. So, my thinking isthat it it was an issue or her then she wouldn't have said okay. I agree that she still has feelings for me; but does she stay around out of guilt or need??? Hell if anyone knows. I just know that our problems from our marriage are fixable and I just worry that she might want to eventually try; but is afraid to because of her parents, the shane of what she has done, etc.
That to me would be a tough thing to overcome. Meanwhile, as much as I love her, I wonder if I am waiting for nothing???
I know this post is pretty much similar to some of my other ones; but I have never experienced anything like this. Usually, in a relationship, it ends. This one seems not to and maybe it is like she said way back, an attempt to just try and get along; but I think there is more than that. Well, I know I think too much about this; but my thinking is what also makes me good as an Engineer. I now what happens when you assume; but to me, if I had no interest and was just tryingto get along, then I would not be doing what she is doing or letting me do...Does that mean she loves me??? I have no idea and maybe neither does she right now. I just don't want to walk away and never ask, if some time goes by.
SOmetimes you just want to say something to nudge her likes it's alright and yes, I am pissed at you; but I still would like to try and you can trust that the past is the past with me; but I know that either isn't right to do or she isn't ready for that.
Having patience is real hard. Not showing disappointment when she is aloof is hard. See for me I look and say she doesn't care when she does that; but then she does things like going to dinner or bowling or skating???
THe additional thing is things like when my stepson and I workout, I drop him off and as much as I want to sometimes just drop him off and go, there is the other part that wants to say hi to the kids while I am there. That has nothing to do with her; but maybe to her, it looks like I am going in to talk to her...Yes, sometimes that is the case; but yesterday I just wanted to see my kids...Beyond her and I, I miss them so much.
Frank
BTW, Just, you mentioned that you had snow te other day when I did...I assume you probably live in the Northeast???
