I doubt anyone can answer this exactly, but your situation is very similar to what mine used to be. She was fine with going out to dinner with me, talking, hugging, comforting, but I never got any closer. Look back at the book. If you don't succeed with your efforts there may be several reasons, one of which is ANOTHER MAN/ANOTHER WOMAN. So I'm suggesting that you continue to be yourself, be the new improved you, and let the relationship with the OM run its course. My XW when she came back said that our issues had been resolved. That the only thing that held her back was this "OM" that she was being true to. While this person was just an EA with an internet person, it still has an impact on success. When OM is out of the way she might see you in a new light. But Frank, she isn't going to discuss trying again or anything else with you until OM is out of the picture and until she has a chance to work through her issues. I don't blame you for being the fall back guy, I didn't either. You'll just have to see if she's worked through her issues, sincerely realizes her mistakes, and wants you to give her another chance. That is why patience is important now and not pushing hard. Just be a friend and supportive.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
