I hear you; but man it's hard to do. For instance, I went to workout with my stepson; because my X had told me that he had wanted someone to workout with him and when he asked her, she told him she didn't have enough time because of the other kids. So, I told her I could do it and she seemed okay with that. Just that when I dropped him off, I think she was in one of those funky states of indifference.
Let me ask you something. Am I to read much into the indifference that crops up from time to time. OR the fact that she has never mentioned anything about trying or working on things. I mean, I know there is probably a comfort zone in dealing with me and her problems; but the fact that she got involved wit hanother guy, wouldn't that say she has no interest in me??? I guess I don't understand how you can go from divorcing someone, to dating a married guy and then actually want back the guy you divorced? Wouldn't the things that they left for be the same reasons they stay away from trying? I don't want to be the guy she settles on because I am at least better than nothing. But how long do you wait to see changes. WHat I mean by that is , if you were hypothetically willing to wait an infinite time, how long would be too long before you should know it never will fix itself? I guess I am just wanting to get a direction. I mean, what if she never speaks up; but I am allowed to go into her house, have the random gettogethers, etc.; but she never says I want to work on this with you. I mean, sure I would eventually give up and move on; but I guess what I am asking is will she eventually choose one or the ther or will she just keep this going the way it is?
I guess I am askingfor those who have experienced it, if my doubt is normal or accurate and that things won't ever change from what they are or if those of you who have been successful, went through the same things. I know each sitch is different; but it seems that most of you at least had them admitting that they cared. I have yet to get htat from her other than, "Of course I care about you, you are my kids dad?" Not exactly a ringing endorsement!!! I guess I am having that self doubt that it will ever be more than it is and I would like it to be. It's when you are talking to her about something and she out of the blue says "I've got it under control and all set"... Noone ever said she didn't. I was just talking in general and it seems like there is this need to say I can make it on my own without help.
