I replied to this pretty much on my thread so see that for details. I do believe that you have the foundation being built and for one reason or another she is afraid of trying with you. I offered suggestions on my thread.
My opinion of moving is that if you can do so without giving up a good job for a bad one or otherwise going backwards career wise, that you should do it for the kids sake if you feel it will enhance your relationship. I also think you do need to explore your fear of taking chances, maybe even seeking a professional opinion. I think part of this whole process is trying to master your fears of some things. Does your fear of moving and change also extend to fear of moving on and starting over? Do you fear your life is incomplete without your XW? Are you afraid that you'll be alone? I feel a healthy part of the process is whether you can grow accustomed to and eventually enjoy your time being single and accept that the time with your XW might be over. I personally feel that fear of change is an impediment to starting over with your XW and anyone else. It puts you in the precarious spot of "needing" the relationship with your XW again in order to feel safe and whole. Perhaps you should take more of a break from her and work through these things. You need to be in the position to not have to worry about how you'll fare if your XW says, let's try and then reneges on that or worse yet, tries to use you like a doormat.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
