Wllowwlk...I agree about the mystery thing. However, it was Monday Night Football and we were talking about our home team. So that is why I mentioned it.

Alot has happened in the past 2 days so this post is long...

Well, really strange and weird things happening. I was heading home from work. I work in the town where they now live. Anyway, I get a call from X. Asks me if I am in town. I say yes, why? Well, can I come take care of my daughter who is sick and the other kids? She sounded like crap. She tells me that she doesn't want to call two of her sisters who she had an argument with on Christmas. I tell her I can come over.

Well, I go there and my daughter looked ok...Actually got sick once while I was there. It was X who looked the worst and was. Well, I cleaned up their mess when they got sick and later got the kids settled for bed. In the meantime, I tended to my X and started doing the laundry which had piled up. At one point I had to help her walk to the bathroom and she said "You're going to get sick too". I told her, that we could make a deal, that if I did, that she would take care of me. She agreed. She seemed appreciative of what I was doing. It got to be about 10pm and she had fallen asleep so I shut off her tv and went downstairs to do the laundry and just sit back.

I was laying on the couch downstairs about and hour later and heard a loud noise. So, I ran upstairs to see what happened. My X asked the same thing. Didn't find anything. Well, I felt her head and she was warm. So, I stroked er hair as it made her feel a little better. Well, Needless to say, I stayed upstairs with her on the pullout sofa bed. Over the course of the night, she tossed and turned and woke up. At one point her back was hurting so I gave her a back rub which she said helped. Later she was cold so I put the blankets on her and held her to get her warm. As we lay there, my hand was able to touch her breast and she was okay with this. Later the other hand had checked what whe was wearing lower...(There is a pont to this. Based on something I will reveal later) Anyway, I found that she had shaved her private area, pretty much clean, which she had never ever done before.

Well, it all started to make sense. Sorry if this gets graphic; but it is the whole issue. Her comments, from a month ago, about not being who everyone thinks she is. Seems as I was putting away laundry, I came across a XXX Porn video in her drawer. This was never her. I could never get her to touch herself or do anything but the normal missionary position. Now she has a tattoo, hooks up with a married guy and then has a porn video, that is very graphic and is basically hard core. (Funny, I had this, I wish she had started thiswith me thing in my head. All I ever wanted was her to stop being inhibited...I guess she really has now!!!) I have not let on that I know of this.

Well, the kids got up and I stayed there for the day, as she was still not right and needed help. As the day progressed, I finished the laundry, kept things picked up and under control and played with the kids. Later in the day, my stepson had to go to his Dads. I was going to drop him off and fix their dinner for them. As my X talked about getting my stepson to his dads, she said she could make dinner and that I might as well keep heading home, as his dads house was halfway between mine and her house. I told her that before I had gotten her call, yesterday, that I was originally coming tonight to fix the network problem I had started the other night. So, I dropped off my stepson, came back set up network and prepared to leave. She was making the kids dinner and I have tomorrow off. So, I had said I will be by tomorrow, maybe around 10:30am to take them bowling. We had discussed this before and she had been invited to go. So, she had said she might. So, I asked her if she was going to come with us. My X said that our daughter wanted her to go, so she probably would. Seems she was surprised at the time though and I asked her if it was too early. She said no it would be fine.

Well, I got my stuff ready to go. Said goodnight to the kids and gave her a peck on the cheek and said "I hope you feel better...See you tomorrow"..She said yes and I got a very subdued, "thanks"

I left and that was the hardest thing to do after having spent the most time I have with all of them in a long time!!!

All in all she seemd to appreciate my help; but I think we started to overload on each other for now. I just have issues with how to know if she will ever show me she cares back. Imean porn video, who knows what she has dne with someone else or multiple people, maybe even at the same time??? Part of me is sacred of who she may be now and the other is bummed that she didn't at least lose some of her inhibitions when we were married. Does this mean by doing this after our marriage that she was not satisfied with me or that it can never fix itself???

Also, did I get used or is she just confused??? I am so not sure of what I am supposed to do. I keep trying to move on with life; but there is just something about her that keeps me here. (secretly, I want her more knowing that she has lost some inhibitions. Just not sure I need to know all the details of how )

I am really hurting from the mixed info I am getting