Quote: feel like she is still searching for her independence from someone supporting her and find her self worth...That she cannot be in a relationship till she feels that she is self sustaining...
From a Venusian perspective, this is really key. I am 44, so I can relate to what your W may be going through. She is not only struggling for independence but also for her identity. She needs to be able to define herself as a person, apart from your M or any other R and also apart from being a mom.
I will venture a guess that what she needs from you now more than anything is for you to behave like a friend; like her best friend. And that means no more hugs and a$$-grabbing, my friend. Find ways to validate her efforts; do what you can to encourage her to pursue her career or further her education. And it is important for you to view her first and foremost as a friend.
Emphasizing our friendship (aka best friends) I think was one of the things that really turned the corner for me in my sitch. And when you listen to married couples who have very successful and long-term marriages, they always say the same thing -- the friendship is what is most important.
So start treating her like your best friend. And that includes adding a little mystery from time to time (she didn't need to know that you were going over to a friend's house to watch football -- just stating that you have plans is good enough and all she really needs to know). Experiment with the mystery and see what happens. She seems very warm and open to you right now. Work it, dude!
