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she is confused and has really no idea what the hell she is doing. All I can say is be her friend and hope for the best because one day this will all crash down on her and hit her like a ton of bricks.




Maybe, maybe not. It might come crashing how she's happy she did this...that it was the perfect thing for her.

I wanted to comment on a few things. First, if it helps any, your W/XW thinks that she was right, just like you do. We all do what we think is right (for the most part). So there is probably no sense in being angry about how she appears to have thrown a perfectly good life away. From her perspective she did the right thing.

Secondly, this is way to focused on what she's doing, thinking, and when she is going to "wake up". She'd actually be upset with you if you implied she wasn't awake. You can say absolutely nothing to change her mind, convince her of your merits, or make her "wake up". The only thing you can control is yourself. Life goes on without her, try to enjoy it. If you are comfortable with a life that doesn't include her, your self-reliance will appear more attractive. Quit worrying about this other man and about how she's screwing up. Make yourself the best you can be. The guy cheating with your XW isn't fit to polish your shoes.

As for the interactions you have with your XW, don't read a ton into it. I hung out all the time with my WAW (now XW)-movies, dinner, hanging at the house-and it didn't result in anything really. I felt I was busting a divorce, but really I was reading things that weren't there. You can take "looking for babysteps" to far. Just be yourself. You don't want someone that doesn't love you as you are, do you?

Hopefully that didn't sound too pessimistic or negative. I think if you focus on yourself you have a reasonable chance. But you need to look out for your own needs and detach from her problems. If she comes back it will only be through her own initiative. If you've successfully made the most of yourself then you can decide if she's really a positive addition to your life or will just make you less than you could be. Just MHO

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt