I just realized that my last post could be taken to mean that I didn't really believe that NOP contributed to his marital problems. That was not what I meant.
I suppose I meant that, up until now, I never really believed that a true boner fide HD person would ever look back and think that anything justified being sexually rejected. I think I sorta figured that it was something that you just moved on from, rather than really believing you caused it somehow.
While it's not something that I 'caused', it is something that I contributed to, without a doubt. Folks, I cannot explain why I spent many years of my marriage subtly undermining my H's masculinity. What is it about me that I felt compelled to do this? I don't know, but I have learned my lesson. It's been about 4 years since I stopped all that behavior and it's taken that time to build him up again. Just as it took approximately that long to tear him down. WHY did I do it, I just don't know. Fear of intimacy, fear of abandonment, anger at his religious fervor, self amusement, FOO fi fo fum, I don't know! All of the above probably.
Anyway, I wanted to clarify that last statement both because MrsN is a personal friend of mine and also she could take me down to chinatown, youknowwhatI'msayin.
