Journey, Howdy sis. I'm glad Wed went off without a hitch.
Hmmm, what to do about your desirability issue. Lemme ask you this: What things does H do to let you know that he desires you? Can you shift your focus to those things instead?
I think it's a good thing that H is comfortable with himself. Truly I can't imagine having a husband who was at all comfortable in his own skin...mine is so opposite of that. Does it happen like that every time, that it takes a while for it to happen? Or is it fast sometimes and sometimes takes a while? *That* would mess with my mind, though I'm sure all the fellas will chime in here and say that it has nothing to do with the wife, blah blah.
Oh one more thing. Last week I was having a desirability crisis. What I realized was that I had cut down on my OWN contributions towards being sexy by a ton--my motivation just fizzled, I guess, when it wasn't going over like I had hoped. When I realized that, a good deal of my resentment lifted and I was able to see that I need to kick it up a notch.
Speaking from one HDW to another, I think that our husbands have a hard way to go. Because what we ultimately want is not only for them to become more eager and willing to ML, but also for them to take the sexual lead.
I very much wanted to get the ball rolling, then slip back into being a woman again, and let him take over. It hasn't worked out that way. The result looks more like: He has stepped up a lot but is still dependent on me to set the overall tone. He still takes his direction from me, in this dept. I am more or less okay with this. Depends on which day you ask me, lol. (I know you will relate to that one:)
So what I wanted to ask you is whether you have slacked off on your contributions in the way that I had?
And the larger question: Is this common with the HDWs? To be gung ho, but only as a way to get the ball rolling.. I really have no desire to bring the heat permanently.
Oh and I wanted to say that your H sounds like he's really trying hard. He should get major brownie points for all the special touches he's doing--the lingerie buying, the lighting candles. He's a gem, Journey. I'd give my eyeteeth to have H do those things within the space of a year and here your man has done it in the space of a couple weeks! Way to go to both of you.
