We went over most of the stuff I wrote about yesterday and managed to keep it sexy and loving at the same time. Folks, I cannot stress enough what a change this is. *This* is practically the holy grail I've been searching for, even if the sex piece has not completely fallen into place.
We can now discuss sexual matters easily and calmly and lovingly, all the while touching each other and enjoying each other's bodies and when we are done, we ML.
Like many of you, it used to be a battle scene at worst and, at best, it was a scene whereby I was self righteously indignant and he was beaten down, emasculated, feeling bad about himself. This would lead to him lashing out, me..I was already angry and resentful so all I needed was a little spark and we were off and running. It was terrible. Nothing ever got resolved, it seemed.
So THIS change is monumental in the honey home. Unbelievable.
GGB, I did indeed bring up the belt escapade last night and told him how sexy I thought it was. He confessed that he was actually only trying to make me comfortable (the baby was on his lap so he wasn't thinking sexually), which is still unusual...to call someone over to take their belt off...but anyway, he said he picked up instantly on the fact that it turned me on and then HE got turned on. We talked a bit about how it's the little things like that prime the pump for later. He agreed that he needs to do more of these things and that he has been *very* resistant in the past to priming the pump. He said he felt weird about getting turned on when there was nothing we could do about it. He admitted that his thinking was irrational and that he wanted to change it.
We then talked about things I can do to turn him on, aside from JGI, which I told him doesn't do much for me from a seduction standpoint. (although I have no problems with just grabbing it now and then--I'm not that stubborn!)
Anyway, I got sidetracked. My point is that nowadays I always remember to praise the things I like in the hopes that I see them more often. Funny thing is that it seems to have taken months of praising before this technique worked. It was not a quick thing. Don't know why, but thought I'd throw that out.
SD, You know, we were talking last night about the sleep thing and I had the very same thought--something is niggling in the back of my mind about apnea and his sleep habits. I wanted to bring it up but we had already covered so much other stuff that it was in my best interest to just shutUP, ifyouknowwhatI'msayin. There's always tonight. I will bring it up again, though. He now has a cyst on the back of his head that hurts so much, it pains him to take his shirts off. It will cost us 400 smackers to have it removed, so it's staying for the time being, but I'm sure that thing is not helping his sleep problems one bit. Thank you for the reminder.I've not forgotten about that and I believe it is a significant part of the equation.
