Well, folks, I think we are on to something permanent here. Things show no signs of tapering off or flaking out, like they've done in the past. We are both catering to each other's needs and navigating these tricky waters with ease.
Yesterday, I had emailed H that I wanted to take a bath together after the kids were in bed. He replied enthusiastically. That night, he filled the tub and brought me in and I noticed that he was fully clothed. I started to get testy inside, cause the suggestion was not that he run a bath for ME, it was that we'd do it together. If he didn't want to, I'd just as soon have skipped it. So I felt all those feelings bubbling around and asked him if he was going to join me and he said No. Then he proceeded to kneel by the tub and spoon water over me with his hands the entire time! I thought that was wonderful. He was spending intimate time with me--which was the point of the whole suggestion anyway--and he found a way to gracefully bow out. There was one funny moment where he looked off into space and joked that the only thing missing was a TV in our bathroom so that he could watch a Clint Eastwood movie while "paying attention" to his wife. Then we had this conversation: HP: Well, H, just remember back about a dozen years ago to when you lived in San Diego and *dreamed* about touching a woman. Being able to see her naked and touch her anywhere you wanted, anytime you wanted to. Watching her take a bath would have been something you couldn't even fathom becoming reality. MrH: (eyes getting big) You are so right! Man that is the truth. See, that's all I need...reminders of how it used to be and how lonely I was. I would have killed to have a chance to have something like this bathtime.
See, folks, my H is guilty of nothing more or less than taking me for granted. Sure, he had religious issues to overcome, as well as his general shyness/awkwardness. But at this point, it is just regular old garden variety Taking For Granted. When he makes an effort to cherish me in some (hopefully physical, lol) way, our entire R is transformed.
Now I don't want to put the whole focus on H--it took lots of behavior changes from me, over the years--but my changes are ingrained habit now and have been for some time, while H has been sorta bringing up the rear, due to the TFG issues referenced above. He's not the first husband to take his wife for granted and he aint the last. I hope that his efforts remain steady.
Interestingly, we have not burned up the sheets lately. Our frequency is slipping again but the EC is strong. I am still hoping to get the two of those in sync and I have faith that we will do this. I think the difference is that, though the actual sex numbers are not high, the physical encounters are. We have been flirting, kissing, and last night's bath, hugging, etc etc and this sweetens the entire scene.
This has been a tumultuous year for us--my physical health sucked and he lost his job, in addition to the stress of having 3 tiny kids--but we are slowly coming out of the Crap Fog and into the light.
Thank you all for shining your lights, along the way. I'll still need it from time to time, I'm sure.
