I sense that your thoughts are going a million miles an hours. Slow down, take a deep breath and take a step back.
I have a question about your last post. Why is S5 afraid to sleep in his own bed?
Here is a suggestion for a soft approach. Affirm H's observations. Tell him, yes for a while I did consciously act differently. I did it b/c I really wanted to save our R/M. I worked hard to show that to you. I worked hard to show that I was sorry. I worked hard so you would want you to ride in my truck again. I worked hard for you to want to kiss me again. I worked hard to share a bed with you for sleep as well as $ex. I want to have a real and healthy R/M w/you. I want to model a healthy R for the kids. I really want to seek help so we can do this. Will you do this for the kids and for us?
And just leave it at that. Don't tell him that all you did, didn't change him and so you've given up on that idea. Don't judge and criticize him. He'll only react negatively to that. And keep the language and tone calm. Just state the facts and leave out the negative stuff.
Think about how he might reply before you do this, so that you can respond or walk away w/o getting dragged into an unproductive argument.
Regardless of anything else, when the next physically/emotionally abusive episode occurs, make and keep your appointment at the Samaritan House! Make this a part of your boundaries to not be abused!
