I know my cyber wrath is doing you no good, but I have to say I am glad your brother is apparently an even keeled person because if I were your brother, I would have taken a 2x4 after H by now and especially after the mall incident.
The frustration of kids and pics and the mall and bickering with your spouse is very real. I know, I have been there and I have been irked because of it and probably even have transferred it to the wrong person, BUT your H's actions are intolerable. NYS says you don't do that to people you love. Hell, you don't do that to anyone, period.
I think you should go without H if he won't go next weekend but I urge you to be cautious and prepared. There is no end to what your H may try to pull. I fear he is a danger to you and your children, seriously.
I believe I saw you say something about not being able to leave with kids legally, but I think there are some openings for you. I urge you to check with a local agency that deals with abusive spouses. There are ways they can help you. I, like most here, don't advocate breaking up a marriage normally, but I worry about you, and I think you should know your options a bit more thoroughly just in case. Please be prepared and take care of yourself.
