Hi Heather Thanks for your post.. you're a sweetheart! Your post and all that followed are helpful to me too. NYS - you saying "normal" especially hit home. I guess I didnt realize I was allowed to have normal reactions to all that's happened in the last year. I've really been beating on myself for my anger, and any expectations I have of H. I have them, and I've hated myself for having them, but I can see how there has to be a certain amount of growth before putting some of those things behind me.
Heather - huggs to you! Dang, I hate what you're going through! I know how you're struggling every day with what to do and how to handle this and I don't have any advice, but you're in my prayers in a big way right now. You deserve so much love sister. No one should have to pay the price you have.
And the love bank.. Dr. Harley wrote that. He has the marriage builders website. Have you ever read anything there? He writes about deposits, but he also talks about lovebusters that withdraw from the love bank. Selfish demands, angry outbursts, dishonesty, annoying habits, individual (one partner making decisions without the other), but I can't remember what he calls it! The website is quite extensive and I can't remember everything, but there is a lot of info about dealing with resentment, anger and bitterness. And if I recall correctly, he posts Q&A and I recall seeing him answer a letter from an unfaithful spouse whose mate brought up her past infidelity ten years later.
Thanks for your post.. you're a sweetheart! Your post and all that followed are helpful to me too. NYS - you saying "normal" especially hit home. I guess I didnt realize I was allowed to have normal reactions to all that's happened in the last year. I've really been beating on myself for my anger, and any expectations I have of H. I have them, and I've hated myself for having them, but I can see how there has to be a certain amount of growth before putting some of those things behind me.
