Learning to Trust Myself IV

[heatherg]

But far from all want the WAS back.

It seems like at first they do. Naturally, time and being treated poorly tend to erode that. But I shouldn't have said all, I should have said many. But that's my perception only from being on this site, I haven't been to any other sites, or really spoken to too many 3D people about this.

we don't ML until she cuts him off completely, perhaps. (Lovely imagery, wouldn't you say, Mrs. Bobbit)


Somebody wrote a book on the premise that we need to deposit 5 good deeds for every offense in order to make love grow.

Yes, I think it was Gottman although I have not read it. My C told me about it. I thought about this today and realized that I don't do very many loving deeds for H. I know I love him deep down, but it's just that....deep down.

It kept sabotaging her efforts, even with the help of a MC.

I've read Gywn's thread and posted to her a few times. She cared enough about her H to realize that she was pushing him away and to try to modify her behavior. Even at the height of it, she could see how her actions were negatively affecting her H. My H has never shown an oz, not ONE oz of uncertaintly or doubt or regret about the way he has reacted since I told him about the A.

I think we all deserve a round of applause. It says a lot about us.

I agree-a standing ovation for all DBers!!!!

~Update~
I haven't really spoken to H since Friday night. Just cordial greetings before he speaks to the kids. I called him tonight to chat for a couple minutes, see if I could get a reading on his attitude. He said he'd call me back in 15-20 mins.
He comes home Friday. Since he's been gone, I've been sleeping on the couch, which I have come to prefer and I'm really dreading having to go back to sleeping in the computer room. When H is home, his night owl habits make it impossible for me to sleep in the living room.