I'm not dying, H is not being outwardly mean to me.
What?!?! A few posts ago didn't you express angst over H getting physical with you if you just moved back into your (plural) bedroom. I got the impression that H had gotten physical w/you in the past. True or did I misinterpret?
"I know you won't be happy if we split. But Mommy won't be happy if we stay together. My happiness is more important, you see?"
Now I think your brain washed. To tell your children that your leaving you marriage b/c your not happy kind of leaves out the part that daddy won't let you back into the bedroom, drinks too much and likes looking at other women naked doesn't it?
H told me yesterday that he watched Spanglish. . .He said "I saw a lot of myself in him".
Maybe he we referring to the scene where Adam Sandler drinks too much.
One of the things H tells me is that I set the tone for our R. That if I'm pleasant, then we're pleasant as a couple. If I'm not pleasant, then neither is our R.
And how does H set the tone for your R? If he's drunk is he pleasant and so are you? If he's looking at porn is he pleasant towards you and so your pleasant towards him? Heather, MWD does say it takes one to tango but it seems like every misstep gets blamed on you. H does take the lead here sometimes, but he doesn't acknowledge it.
Am I supposed to make myself miserable to make you happy?
And my question to H, "Is Heather supposed to make herself miserable to make you happy?"
Heather, you've posted a lot in the past few days and I've been involved w/DD's. You sound like your heart and mind and soul are going thru some turbulance. What I want to point out in my replies is that I feel you are taking too much responsability for the state of your R. If your H was drunk 6 nights a week pre-A, then he really wasn't paying that much attention to you. Your response to that wasn't the correct one, but you are remorseful and God knows that almost any of the LBS' on this BB would give their right arm for a remorseful WAS. What I want to say is it's not all you! H has to be accountable for what he has contributed to the sitch and so far it seems like he's cut down his drinking from 6 nights to 2, but still carries on w/porn and his emotional punishment. You've rolled up your sleeves and carried the lions share of the work to repair your R/M. You are to be commended for that. You are fighting the good fight and you should be proud of yourself for that.
It's too late to offer my opinon on the flat tire, but I would have just had the tire changed, called H and told him I changed the tire for him and left it at that.
Be thankful for your children and brother coming to live close by this Thanksgiving.
