Sounds like someone hit the trigger over bfast there! There are so many possibilities for why your W made that comment. Does she perceive you as arrogant and find that quality unattractive? Were you expressing excitement or talking yourself up? Think back to the convo. You were having bfast and talking with your W. Was the convo focused on you? Women LOVE to talk about themselves and have the convo focus on them. We tend to get bored and disgusted when a man goes on and on about his achievements. Not that you were doing that at all, but just reflect a little objectively. How much of the discussion was about her? Do you praise her work efforts and take an interest in what she does? Ask her questions, ask her opinion?
When she says "we're so different from each other" what do you think she means? Seriously, what personal quality is she valuing and finding superior in herself that she didnt see in you this morning?
What are you wive's love languages? Have they been satisfied completely lately? What could she have been thinking while sitting there? "Gee, I wish he'd quit talking to work and ask me to go snuggle" "I mentioned XYZ to him yesterday and he's already forgotten but here he goes all excited about his work again." "He loves his work more than he loves me" "How can he be so excited about something that's costing us so much money. We just spent all this money on the house and we really can't afford this"
You know you and your W and your history. Maybe she's upset because the house is finished and there's not a lot going on for her that involves your time, money and energy? Me and my H are best together when we're working on something together. It gives me something to look forward to and I have his attention. It always seems after we finish a large task, there's withdrawal. I notice that we're not spending as much time together. We don't talk as much. Then I start to feel like I'm not that important because we're not doing activities together for us... we're just doing day to day life and I miss his attention.
No advice, just some thoughts to consider. If you've been through this before and made it then you know the drill well! Don't let it upset you too much. Try to focus on being positive and meeting your W's needs. I wonder - when you're faced with her objection to you talking about work, could you say "I know, I go on and on about work or XYZ, but I love sharing things with you. What do you think about it? You're insight is important to me" Just something to diffuse and not be defensive.. try to acknowledge her feelings and encourage her to share what she's thinking instead of reacting to an insult. Did you ask her gently what she means by "we two are so different from each other anyway?"
Hope you've taken a step back and are re-grouping. Have you backslid on your DBing at all lately? Maybe it's time to bring out some things that helped you two years ago?
Or if this was just an out of the blue problem, maybe she was having a bad morning and grouchy and things will be fine if you leave it alone?
