Dafty, I'm going to repeat that link with its title-- some of the other women on the board might want to read it when they see what the title of the article is: How to Turn on a Sexually Indifferent Husband. The article is written by a man and this is the way it starts out
Quote: It is becoming increasingly common to hear of women who want sex more often than their husband. In part this is the result of a greater willingness to speak up about the problem, but given the growing number of couples where one feels sexually starved by the other, it is a problem which is actually affecting more and more women.
The reasons for this lack of male sex drive are many, and a check list of sorts can be found at our Lack of Desire* article. The purpose of this article is to give frustrated wives some practical ideas that may help them increase their husband's interest in have sex with them. If your husband is afraid that his sex drive makes him a monster, suffers from sexual guilt, or is concerned you don't really want or enjoy sex, these suggestions should either get him past his hang up, or create a crisis that will bring the hang-up to light. If you husband is suffering from a low sex drive, or is just too busy, these ideas may be very effective. If these ideas don't help, you have a serious problem, and it's probably time to seek help.
Because men have a wide variety of likes and dislikes, and a wide variety of sexual baggage, you will have to pick and choose from the things suggested here. But don't assume you know what he will like, and don't assume his first reaction to something reveals his true feelings. If you want to precipitate a change you're going to have to be bold and take some risks.
The male brain is wired a certain way when it comes to sex, and regardless of how strong or weak a man's drive is his basic sexual wiring is the same. In a nut shell men like to see sex organs (breasts and genitals), like to see those organs doing something, and men like variety. The idea here is for a woman to learn how to use these things to arouse her husband.
Before we start, you need to ditch any worries you have about not looking good, or being able to visually arouse your husband. First realize that most women are far more attractive than they think. Second realize that most men are not really concerned with the things women think they are concerned with. The looks of the average centerfold or porn star are icing on a cardboard cake. If you are going to look at a two dimensional image of something you can't have, you care about every little detail; but when you are having real sex with a real woman those things are not important. And third realize that men are practical, the wife you have is better than the woman you don't have. To be blunt ladies, it's not what you've got, it's how you display and use what you've got. A woman who is way over weight, flat as a board, or otherwise not up to some worldly standard of sexy, can still drive her husband crazy with lust (it's okay for him to lust for you) if she knows how to do it. Your biggest block to making this work is worrying about looking or acting silly. You have nothing to lose, so abandon shame and embarrassment and get out there and turn your man on!
Don't wait till you want sex to start turning him on. For men arousal is a building experience. Get a man turned on then walk away, and his conscious awareness of his arousal will fade, but his body and his mind have been primed. Then the next time he is aroused the response will be faster and stronger. Nudity, hints of nudity, and making him think about your sexuality are all good ways to prime the pump before you get him to bed. Here are some ideas to get you started - I've listed a good many, hopefully it will help you understand the mind set behind these things:
Continued...
I don't know whether anyone will find his suggestions helpful. When my bf and I were first together, I did stuff like that and it just seemed to put him off. (But I'll bet the guys on the board will enjoy reading the list. )
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* I think Mrs. NOP quoted the text at the Lack of Desire link in another thread.
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